Oscar. Dachshund Ambassador. “The other day I dreamed that I was at the gates of heaven. And St. Peter said, ‘Go back to Earth, there are no slums up here.’ ”
Oscar and Mother Theresa After A Pro Celebrity Rugby Match. “Just Good Friends.” But Rumours Persisted.

Oscar’s place on the world stage started almost by accident, with a chance encounter.
Oscar boarded a flight to Calcutta and found himself seated next to an ugly, dried up, dwarfish figure that he initially took to be Yoda.
On closer inspection it transpired that the ripe little walnut was none other than the fabulous, if a little smelly of sandal, Mother Theresa of Calcutta.
Later, while having a crafty fag in the toilets, Mother Theresa spoke movingly, and at excessive length, of her ministry to the Indian underclass.
Mother Theresa insisted that none of her nurses should be trained, preferring them to have a strong faith in the Lord. Oscar mentioned that he was perfectly qualified, as he had no medical experience at all and being a dog couldn’t even pick up a bed pan!
The rest, as they say, is history.
Over the next three years Oscar became Mother Theresa’s constant companion.
Praying for the sick, and when that failed, burying them in the garden.

It was in India that Oscar first met Diana, Princess of Wales. She had mistakenly booked in with an eating disorder, although found herself being treated for Leprosy.
The meeting was to plunge Oscar into the very centre of the world stage. First as escort and later as ‘Oscar, the peoples Dachshund.
Oscar needed no title. He couldn’t pronounce them.


 		Oscar and Diana Patronise a fat man suffering from AIDS.
It was while competing in a pro/celebrity Throw Yourself Down The Stairs and Throw Up Competition, that Oscar met Bill Clinton.


...to be continued...

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